Me, Myself and My Bad Fringe Cut

We all have the occasional bad hair day, maybe even a bad hair week. But it doesn't really help when your mother cuts your fringe too short the night before you go back to school. I almost stayed home. Feeling ashamed and disheartened, considering my own sister laughed at me...
But after 24 hours of being with my fringe I've learned to love it and it's freakishly short ways. I mean, why should I care what Michelle thinks? ... Uh I dunno, maybe because I idolise her or something ... But that's beside the point.
I thought about it and decided that the positives of having an abnormally dwarfish fringe are: 1. It won't get trapped in a cabinet door when a robber is locking you in there. 2. I can actually SEE now. As apposed to wondering why there is some kind of weeping willow hovering over me every time I look up. 3. It's a time of my life I can treasure forever. 4. Nah. I've got nothing else. Shut up about the negatives. I don't care. :)
So, Kudos to those with bad hair cuts. Wear your strange and outlandish hairdo's and styles wherever you go, and wear it with a skip in your step and a packet of pop rocks in your hand (because everyone loves poprocks) and don't feel ashamed because there is most definitely someone with a worse hair cut than you.
(And for those who are pondering that concept further, if you're wondering who the person with the worst hair cut is, he's probably trapped in some kind of box knitted out of peruvian alpaca wool. And for those who are now thinking something along the lines of "You sexist bitch!" just face it, the person with the worst haircut in the world probably is a man. Or atleast I like to imagine anyway. And if you're still pondering something that this post has triggered in your noggin, then go ponder the earth somewhere else.)

lots of love,
fran
xx

Just Womblin' Around

Underground, Overground, Wombling Free, the Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we. Making good use of the things that we find, things that the everyday folks leave behind. Uncle Bulgaria, he can remember the days when he wasn't behind The Times, with his map of the World. Pick up the papers and take them to Tobermory! Wombles are organized, work as a team. Wombles are tidy and Wombles are clean. Underground, Overground, wombling free, the Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we. People don't notice us, they never see, under their noses a Womble may be. We womble by night and we womble by day, looking for litter to trundle away. We're so incredibly, utterly devious making the most of everything. Even bottles and tins. Pick up the pieces and make them into something new, is what we do!

I like the wombles.

Gee, Officer Krupke!

I'd just like to announce my supreme appreciation of West Side Story. For yall who don't know what West Side Story is about, here is a brief overview for you: The two enemy clans are called the "JETS!" and the "SHARKS!" and both fued over who the rightful turf-owner is. The Jets, being racists bully the Sharks, and the Sharks being testosterone filled hooligans fight back. Resulting in impending doom and tragedy when Romeo who is Tony and Juliet who is Maria, fall in forbidden love. Bernardo dies, Whats-his-face dies. They reconcile. The end. HOWEVER, the big twist is: it's set in the slums of 80's America! HOW ABOUT THAT EH?!

Pretty much the most amazing musical, with all the greatest musical hits you could ever dream of coming from this simple, humble and slightly plagirised fiasco! My favourite numbers are: "Gee, Officer Krupke", "MARIA!", "America!" (thanks Gen), "A Boy Like That", "Stay Cool" and of course the "Tonight" quintet. No-one could ever imagine being as cool and groovy as the West Side Story cast, and with their impressive dance moves, clicks, singing, gang fighting skills and acting, they are at the top of the BRILLIANT MUSICAL list. :)

So stay cool boy, and enjoy this video, Maria, sung by the legendary TONY! Because as the Jets so rightly put it: "we're disturbed, we're disturbed, We're the most disturbed, Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed!"
THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO PAIGE KERIN AND BELLA ROSS. and quesas Mr Quinn....

IKEA, heaven's made of it.

I swear, nothing in the world can compare to IKEA's mutant bargains, and their ultimate packaging techniques, and their creative design, and their hip and cool colours and styles. If I could live there, I probably would, and just live on danishes and meatballs. I also love it how it's like a maze, except better, because on your journey you get to look at cool chairs and bookshelves, instead of boring old hedge. AND there are those free little wooden pencils, and measuring tapes. And the giant carry bags that you can put on your back and pretend to be a turtle with.

Sweden should feel proud to achieve something as amazing as IKEA, and seriously, should get an award for "Best Shop On The Earth" I love all IKEA's of different shapes and sizes, and no IKEA is ever enough. So keep up the good work IKEA, because you're doing a splendid job, and if you were my child I would weep myself to sleep with pride. :)

Love you, IKEA.

xx fran

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

Yeah. That's right. VOLDEMORT. *gasp!*

For years he's caused havock among the wizarding world! And the poor unnaware muggles are in danger! Yes, I'm still living in The Order of the Phoenix phase, shut up haters. :) Anyway. I'd just like to express my extreme hate for the Dark Lord. I mean, seriously, he's about as ridiculous as it gets. Prancing around and ordering everyone to do stuff for him. It's vulgur. I also would like to share that I have chronic voldemortaphobias. I actually think being scared of voldemort is legit, because his face looks like its in one of those stocking masks when your face goes all retarded like you look at his face and want to say "you're recovering well since your face got put in a blender!". It's just the snout kind of thing going on in the center.... and he's bald... and lots of teeth, it's the ultimate combo of weird.

So don't go hating on people just because they're scared of things in Harry Potter. Because, like Twilight, it is real. And magic does exist. And so do vampires and werewolves. So eat up this knowledge and take it like a real man. :)

xx fran

I like having Friends.

Yes. That is correct. I like having friends.

There is no greater joy in life than having a special person to always be your pal, and who you know will always love you. I believe that I have the most incredible friends. And quite frankly, I cannot imagine any kind of happy life of mine without them. I have been most fortunate during my existance so far to have met some of the most amazing people, whether they be on the West side (yasminos, riley, tess) or smack bang in the middle (claude, twiggy, lis, rosie, michelle) of Australia. Who cares? I love you all. And I also think that having over-seas friends is one of the coolest things ever too.

In the future, my one and most wanted goal is to be miss close's best friend. But seeing as she is already quite popular, I don't want too dream to big, as this often leads to severe disapointment and depression. But I think that even the saddest and meanest people on the planet deserve a friend. And if you think about it, they're probably only mean because they're having a woeful day, or are just angry at the world, like Harry Potter. I think we should all be a little bit more like Ron Weasley, and be loyal and happy friends. Because as the saying goes "there's no better friend than a ranga named Ron". Actaully. I lie. I made that up. But still, it's a pretty good life message.

So take the time to appreciate your friends, and let them know that you love them, because one day it'll be YOU who's having a shitake day, and you'll appreciate appreciating friends.

xx fran

Mei Goreng, A Gift From Jesus? Yep.

Mei Goreng. What more can I say? It's just an amazing invention! You just cook the noodles and add the onions, seasoning, chilli, soy sauce and palm oil (yes, claude, we know it's very bad for your health) and then load it into your gob and you have some good times in your throat hole. If there was an award for best food ever invented Mei Goreng would surely win. With it's good looks and a taste that could make a grown man weep, Mei Goreng is an absolute must have in every sane home.

If you ever need the perfect gift for any occasion, Mei Goreng is the answer to all your worries, questions and dreeeeeeeeams. I believe that if Mei Goreng had not been invented then I would be starving almost every luch time. And so would many other members of school communities that are cool.

So, IF YOU WANT TO BE HIP AND COOL, EAT MEI GORENG! foo'

(thanks lis for letting me say foo')

:)

Pirates, Arrrrgh.

Pirates are an amazing invention. Not real pirates, but the ones in books, with wooden legs, eye patches and bling. Yes, I just said bling. I must say that I think many situations have been improved by the fact that pirates exist. I mean, can you think about what would happen if you got trapped in a lift with a random and you needed something to talk about? Well have no fear, PIRATES are here.

Another good thing about pirates is that you can always turn into a pirate in awkward situations... "You killed my pet Llama." "ummm... argh...?" works every time.

Pirates are just great.

Golly Gosh, I Do Love Ugg Boots

I really love Ugg Boots, they just amaze me because they're made of sheep's wool and fluff and stuff and they keep my footsies warm. I believe it was Sir Ugg who invented them. Because Doctor Boot invented the actual shape of the boot and then Sir Ugg invented Sheep. Yes, that sounds about right!
Over my time on this earth I have witnessed many things, and am quite jealous of anyone who has cooler stuff than me (which is like, everyone in the world!) But I have never witnessed any so magical as Ugg Boots!
WELL DONE SIR UGG! EXCELLENT JOB, OLD CHAPPY!

the world's a better place, thanks to ugg boots!

Tapir Respect

As we all know, Tapirs are the coolest animals on the earth, especially malayan tapirs. They have a white belly and then the rest of their body is black. They have a little mini trunk kind of thing (which is quite extraordinary) and apparently are really good at most sports, for example: tapirs are probably not good at discuss (because they can't hold the disc) but they are very good at running, swimming and severing zoo keeper's arms off (www.tapir.org/about_tapir.html)

Well. I think that if you really do appreciate Tapirs, or you're keen to show your respect, join the group on facebook, just type in People Who Appreciate Tapirs and then join it! I'd like to leave you with a poem, written by a good friend of mine, Claudia King.

Ode To a Tapir. by claudia king, dedicated to every tapir lover out there.

O, Mr. Tapir!

Black and white,with quite a large circumference

True fact:mr. tapir has no waist

True fact:mr.tapir is also the name of a mobster boss

Mr. tapir likes synergy and dirt.

Mr tapir's nemeses are gibbons.

Mr Tapir. likes to funk.

But is he white with a black ass and face?

Or black with a white B E L L Y??

Respect the humble tapir.

Bitch.

p.s. This was my first ever blog post. I don't know about you, but I'm quite impressed :)